I once heard it said, you
can’t teach about suffering from a textbook. At this stage of my life, I am
convinced of that saying more than ever. Having suffered a back injury incurred
during my time in the Marine Corps it led to my second honorable discharge.
After forty-plus years, the injury and the pain caused by the injury has led to
psychological issues (double depression among other odd diagnoses). Medications
work, but they wear off after a few hours. They also have less than desirable
side effects. Therapy sounds good but the pain prevents me from concentrating.
If I take pain medication to help with the pain before therapy it really
creates a mental fog. Besides, preparing for and transporting to a medical
appointment generally creates more suffering than an appointment is worth. I
have learned how to reduce the amount of pain medication but unfortunately, I
still find it a necessary evil. The reason I shared part of my story with you
is that several years ago God brought something wonderful to my attention which
I want to share with you. Now, this is something not taught to medical
professionals!
When I was a child my
desire was not to be a fireman, policeman, cowboy, or even Superman. I remember
listening to and watching my preacher
every Sunday and at special events and wishing I could be like him. Over the
course of my life, I would drift close and then far from God. However, in
reflection, I see where I usually did things to help others without giving it
conscious thought. Many times placing myself in danger for the benefit of others.
I was, and am far from perfect but I have never had a stomach for anyone or
anything suffering.
This is the part not
covered in the textbooks or lectures taught to medical professionals. Now
permanently and totally disabled I am blessed with so much time, day and night,
to thank God for this opportunity to
bring glory to Him. Sometimes I enjoy reading Proverbs or Psalms from our
Bible. I can spend hours days or even years unpacking a message. About a decade
ago, while reading Psalms one of them spoke
to me in a way I was not accustomed to. Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the
Lord, And He shall give you the desire of your heart” (NKJV). I thought I did but as it turned out, I didn’t really delight myself in the Lord. I thought to
delight myself in the Lord meant to be thankful and to enjoy the Lord. What it
means is I had to submerge myself in His Word. Pray and ask Him to reveal
Himself, to show His heart. To once again ignite the passion to help others and
be a better witness for Him. I had to replace the selfish idea of how He could
please me and make my life better with less suffering with a plan for finding
all the ways possible to please Him! Sure enough, little by little I began to
experience an inner-peace and remarkable birth of understanding. The closer my
desires reflect God’s desires the more peace I experience.
Certainly God still
miraculously heals people and He can certainly heal me. But even if He chose to
heal me and put an end to my suffering, I know this side of heaven some other
form of suffering would present itself. So I delight in the Lord knowing that
although suffering never ends on earth, He is always with me to help me weather
any storm. “God won’t always change our circumstances, but if we ask Him, He
will often step in to change our perspective” (Tada, J.E., A Place of Healing).
I trust God and know He
has a reason for not healing me. Maybe it is to share His Word with others who
are suffering from a first-hand account and not by someone's opinion or thesis
in a textbook. I’ll close this article with the words of the Apostle Paul in
his first epistle to the Thessalonians. 16“Rejoice always, 17pray
without ceasing, 18in everything give thanks; for this is the will
of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:16-18, NKJV).